How a Life Makes Sense

Days, months, years go by with increasing speed.  Memories fade, unless I put it on the page.  Memories like the time one of our boys was two and we had friends over for dinner.  He keep ambling from one end of the table to the other, opening his mouth wide, waiting for a bite from anyone.  After a couple of times my friend turns and asks him if he is a little bird.  To which his prompt response is to put his arms in the chicken wing position and affirms with - “tweet, tweet". 

Other memories are times when the hurt runs deep.  Relationships end and questions of why dangle.  How does one work out the pain?

“I write not to make art, but to make sense.”  Julia writes. 
She also says, “Writing is a means of prayer…It opens the door to God.  Writing is a spiritual housekeeper.  Writing sets things straight, giving us a sense of our true priorities.” 

When I write I feel connected with God.  Listening to His voice as I put pencil to page copying Scripture and composing prayers and poems.  Writing is how I work out my emotions.  It is how I remember the good times and struggle through the difficult.  Writing helps me makes sense of my life.   I wrote this poem last year and as I read these chapters it kept coming to my mind.

Dots…

My life is a sequence of dots…
Not really a series of starts and stops…
One season linking to the next…
Newborn…small child…child of God…
Young woman…married young woman…
Bride of the King…Married young mother…
Mother of six… mother of teenagers…
Woman of faith…I spied God…
Connecting the dots of my life…

--Nancy Kourmoulis

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Related posts:
HCB Writing as Prayer
L.L.’s Excuse Me, I’m WRITE-ing
Melo’s The Day You Keep and Day 28 & 29
Glynn’s Because It Matters
Cassandra's The River

Scripture Only Sunday

“I will praise you, O
Lord, with all
my heart; …
I will bow down
toward your holy
temple and will 
praise your name
for your love and
your faithfulness, 
for you have exalted
above  all  things your name and your word.  When I called, you answered me, you
made me bold and stouthearted.”  
Psalm 138:1a, 2-3

Saturday Sketches

Thankful Thursday

I am struggling to sit down and write this week.  It is a good struggle.  My time has been full – gardening, watching children and their friends play, reading, cleaning.  I have even had a day this week to share brunch with a friend of my own – with no children in tow.   

There are days of struggle.  Children who need to be disciplined.  Accidents that happen.  Animals that are injured and need care – a horse that has an injury to her hoof.  Two little bunnies who are too weak to survive.  Jobs that take twice as long as anticipated.  Body that is not used to physical labor (I was a secretary in an earlier life, not a farmer). 

However, there is no struggle to give thanks.  My heart is full because God has given me His presence and blessed my life.  I choose to look and see the joy Jesus gives.   To be content with this day and this moment. 

Father – amazing, awesome God – I am grateful this week for…

561.  Friends to share the farm with and brothers sharing

 

562.  Baby bunnies (8 of them now)

 

563.  Panera Bread for brunch

564.  Modern technology – washing machine, dryer, dishwasher, stove – those things that make life today so much more pleasant

565.  Garden plants are growing – so far I haven’t killed everything – God I really appreciate this

566.  Have not spotted any snakes so far this week

567.  Beth Moore, such an anointed teacher 

568.  Girls playing dress-up

569.  Kari Jobe music

570.  Jesus, The Way, The Truth, The Life (John 14:6)

In the Presence of God…

I reminisce, recall a day many years ago.  It is our wedding day.  After months of preparation the occasion has arrived.  Precious (soon-to-be) husband and I spend the morning tying up last minute loose ends.  The afternoon is spent apart – each preparing ourselves for that sacred breathe of time.

“"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the presence of God and man, to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony."

In the presence of God I take my father’s arm and joyfully walk down the aisle while my Precious follows our pastor onto the platform.  I feel the eyes of God and man upon us.

In the presence of God my heart rejoices because this one has been given for me and I am given for him.  How do I know?  Simply because I asked God and He told me so.  

All witness as two are united – become one flesh in the presence of God.  Later only God gives witness to the consummation of their becoming one flesh.  God gives His blessing…a lifelong verse…

“A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”   Ecclesiastes 4:12

God is the center cord that binds us together.  His affirmation continues to resound…

“I now pronounce you husband and wife.  What God has joined together let no man put asunder.” 

Twenty-six years, more moves that I care to count, six children, new opportunities, one son-in-love, many joys and disappointments later, God’s cord still holds strong.

In the presence of God this Precious husband is more cherished with every passing day.  His faithful love and daily service for our family serve as an example of one who loves his wife as he loves his own body.  (Ephesians 5:25-33)

I have found that because we are in the presence of God the cord still holds strong.

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Quiet words from Ann: Consider sharing in community: As we approach June and the month of anniversaries --- and the month of Father's Day --- let's consider for the next four weeks: The Spiritual Practice of Holy Matrimony. Over the next four weeks, let's share any aspect of marriage/love you feel led to explore...

 

 Click the link above to go directly to the Walk With Jesus

Out of Sorts

During the school year my days follow a certain pattern.  Out of bed, Bible study and journaling with coffee, breakfast, then school and chores.  We finished school here last week (except for my job-the grading).  
The garden calls me to come and weed regularly these days.  In case I failed to mention it lately, I live in the southern part of the United States.  It is hot here already – like 85 degrees hot – hitting 90 over the weekend.  I have been getting up early to work in the garden in the cool morning hours.  My normal routine is out of sorts.  This makes me out of sorts. 
“When I don’t write enough…I become lonely for my soul.”  writes Julia.
She quotes a friend named Joseph,”Without writing, my life rushes by unexamined and I feel a disturbing sense of disconnect.”
In the third chapter for this week she states, “It doesn’t matter how you do it, what matter is that you do it.”
Journal pages sit empty.  I feel a little empty even though life these days is very full of doing.  There is not a lot of writing.  Lonely and disconnected truly describes it feels.  Now just to take Julia’s advice and “do it.” 
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HCB Book Club Posts

Related Posts:
HCB Post A Letter to Myself

Lyla’s A Little Help from Mr. Fusion
Glynn’s The Writing Heart Is Not a Lonely Hunter
nancy’s love.letters
Melo’s day 21: right day, right time
Cassandra’s Morning Pages
Melo’s day 22-24: I got rhythm
Erin’s Let’s Be Brave, Put On Our Big Girl Pants, and Get Real (Yes, I’m Scared Too)
Stephanie’s Dear Miss Stephanie

Scripture Only Sunday

Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary?

Who may live on your holy hill?

He whose walk is blameless and

who does what is righteous,

who speaks the truth from his heart.  

Psalm 15:1-2

 

Saturday Sketches

Thankful Thursday

Wisdom is oftentimes nearer when we stoop than when we soar.
-  William Wordsworth, 1798

I have been stooping a lot this past week.  The garden we planted has become overrun with weeds.  So we have been removing the weeds so the vegetables can grow.  We will be starting over again this week.

This makes me think about raising children.  Children are seeds planted next to us in life.  We help by weeding and tending their souls when they are small.  Daily we choose what they are exposed to and when.  It is easy to guide who they befriend, what they do, and exclude unhealthy anything (T.V., video games, books, movies, etc).

As they grow and mature it becomes their responsibility to cultivate and weed their lives.  By our living example hopefully they will learn what will help them grow and what will cause them to wither and die.    Here is the hard part as we release them to choose what enters the soil of their lives. 

Father – may I learn to stoop low before Your presence.  You alone give wisdom that helps me grow and be fruitful.  Help me tend the garden where you have planted me well.   Father, because you continue to bless this daughter, I continue to declare those blessings.  Being thankful for…

547.  Many hands to pull weeds

548.  Precious husband’s thoughtfulness

549.  Chiropractor

550.  Boy silliness

Sensitive son cutting up outside Mexican restaurant. 

551.  Mexican food

552.  Church-wide baby shower

553.  Quick eyes…

Fun son and I were sitting in the shade taking a break from weeding our garden.  He looks over my head and exclaims, O, my word.  I stand to look and on the tree behind me there is a rather large snake.  It was probably about five feet long.  Thankfully we have seen these before so I did not panic thinking “rattlesnake!!!” (as I have done in the past).  Just a harmless pine snake.  But yuck, a snake!

554.  He gets his quick eyes from his dad who found this at the farm.  Watch our for your fingers because, well, they are called snapping turtles for a reason.

555.  Cool water on a hot day

556.  Shade trees

557.  Lawn chairs with webbing will let a breeze blow through

558.  Three children done with school, two with only two weeks left 

559.  Right now, this quiet moment, giving thanks

560.  This Scripture, for this day,

“The LORD your God is with you,
       he is mighty to save.
       He will take great delight in you,
       he will quiet you with his love,
       he will rejoice over you with singing."  Zephaniah 3:17

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Check out Ann’s blog anytime to be blessed, but especially on Monday’s to have your heart refreshed through the sharing of community giving thanks to God for his new mercies every day. To check out what the Gratitude Community is all about click the link below.

Shout Out

…to my Darling daughter and Dear son-in-love as they celebrate two years of marriage today.  Praying their marriage will continue to grow and flourish before the Lord. 

Happy Anniversary!

“Enter the body”

“We store memories in our bodies.  We store passion and heartache…joy, moments of transcendent peace.  If we are to access these, if we are to move into and through them, we must enter our bodies to do so.”  Julia Cameron in The Right to Write
noisy nature
sit in solitude
eyes flutter shut
breathe in sounds
squirrels cheerfully chatter
black puppy yelps
whines to be free
red-headed woodpecker taps
drills his song
a slight breeze glides leaves
tree tops brush together
sounding like a heavy
spring rain shower
carolina wrens call,
cheater, cheater,
to one another from
edges of garden
dragonfly buzzes ear
lazily eyes open
drinking in sights
three hawks circle
cloud filled sky
weeds crowd plants
calling to be free
needing room to grow
reprieve ends
slide gloves over
weary hands
join noisy nature
           --Nancy Kourmoulis
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Related posts:
HCB Book Club:  I Go Alone
nancy’s the right to write and buying work
Monica’s Sketching
Melo’s Day 12-16: Slip, Slipping Away
Glynn’s An Artist Date
Cassandra’s Walking and Writing
Marilyn’s You Never Take Me Anywhere Anymore
LL’s Finding Your Words

Scripture Only Sunday

For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous  and his ears are attentive to their prayer, …in your heart set apart Christ as Lord.” 

1 Peter 3:12, 15a

Saturday Sketches

Thankful Thursday

“…may we see the ways that God is shaping our lives into works of art. In all things, may we find our lives shaped by a cross, and by this God who has "all of our days written in His book."

Jennifer@Getting Down with Jesus 

Father God, YES!  Eyes open I am thankful the way you are shaping our lives.  May we bend low before Your cross in gratitude and rise up to exalt Your name.  God, this week, I am thankful for…

541.  Sweet Mother’s Day gifts

542.  Camping in the corral with dad  (I get the night off)

543.  Horse that was fearful of us finally allowing us to get near her 

544.  Sitting on a platform in a tree with Gold-hearted mom watching -

 

545.  Precious husband level ruts on road to garden spot 

546.  Sitting, surrounded by tall grass swaying in the breeze

 

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Check out Ann’s blog anytime to be blessed, but especially on Monday’s to have your heart refreshed through the sharing of community giving thanks to God for his new mercies every day. To check out what the Gratitude Community is all about click the link below.

Overcoming Obstacles

Several months ago life was all about obstacles.   A physical obstacle waiting to be removed in order to continue moving a house.

Emotional and spiritual obstacles needing to be removed in order for me to move forward – some of them not even recognized until a Wednesday night class series on Freedom: Living an Abundant Life opened my eyes. 

Over the course of the weeks what has seemed to move so slowly has now begun to move quickly.  Where once there was an overwhelming obstacle, now there is an almost complete road.


Where once there was only an open field, now there is a hollow spot ready for a foundation to come and then a house to be moved into place. 









In my heart I find the ground enlarged also.  I feel a stirring in a hollow place there.  It is a place where I have actually been hiding.   Unwilling to be disappointed or hurt again I have kept to myself.  Fear has kept me afraid to step out and take a risk; to believe I could actually be useful apart from domestic duties.  As one person who knows me has said, outside my hermit hole.

Growing into faith, believing that the same resurrection power that raised Jesus from the dead works in me has given hope. I lean on God’s courage and I begin to step out.  As I take each hesitant step God removes the obstacles that have stood in my way for far too long.

Precious husband and boys continue the process of moving our house.  I wait with joyful expectation to see the work complete – even though I know it will be many more months before it is finished.  Emotionally, spiritually, I wait for the Father to build the house He would have stand here in this hollow spot of my soul.  With eyes fixed above I trust Him to raise a dwelling which only brings glory to His name.
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Every Wednesday, we Walk with Him, posting a spiritual practice that draws us nearer to His heart.  To read the entire series of spiritual practices. Consider sharing in community: Part 6: Living as the Easter People.

Eyes On…

The challenge here:  find a subject and photograph it with as little visual clutter as possible.  Include a short description about the clutter you needed to remove and how this connects with your life.

In a breath it can all float away

Eyes on the sunny center

Flower head matures

Seed-bearing parachutes release

Carried by the wind

Dandelion snow settles

In the soil cycle begins again

             Nancy Kourmoulis

“And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us.  We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish. He was willing to die a shameful death on the cross because of the joy he knew would be his afterward. Now he is seated in the place of highest honor beside God's throne in heaven.”       Hebrews 12:1b-2

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Open Your Eyes

Do I wander aimlessly through the motions of my life?   Dirty dishes, dirty laundry, stumbling over discarded socks and shoes, shelving books, grading papers.   The never ending tasks that belong to this mother.  Sometimes, yes.  Julia Cameron states:

“We do not see our size.  We do not view ourselves with accuracy.  …We do not credit ourselves with what it is we can – and often do – accomplish.  We are blind to our gifts; we are deaf to our voice.” 

What do I accomplish with my life?  How can I view myself with accuracy?  Are my eyes open to the gifts I possess, ears listening to the life-giving voice? 

Pulling books from bag I sit under a sturdy pine tree.  Settling glasses across the bridge of my nose in order to focus on the Word and then her words in The Right to Write. 

“Valuing our experience is not narcissism…It is, rather, the act of paying active witness to ourselves and our world.  Such witness is an act of dignity, an act the recognizes that life is essentially a sacred transaction of which we know only the shadow…As we attune ourselves more and more closely to the value of passing moments, we learn that we are something of moment ourselves.”  Julia Cameron

Then taking pencil and notebook in hand I number from one to fifty.  I write across the lines…

Choosing to open my eyes and view life as a sacred transaction I see I owe a debt to the One who placed me here.  The only payment He requires is a heart yielded in love and adoration.  Life is sacred so more and more I want to be attuned to the value of the passing moments. 

In those transcendent moments I hear the voice of the Lord speak deeply in my soul, You are created for this time, for this place, for these people..  Just as they are my gift to you, child, you are a gift for them. 

I see that everything of value I have ever accomplished in my life and the things I value most have been because of His power at work in me.  They are not really my accomplishments at all – they are His alone.  My parents, my husband, our children, friends, abilities – all these are God’s gifts.

What we are is God's gift to us.  What we become is our gift to God.  ~Eleanor Powell

“Writing is about seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, touching.”  Julia Cameron

I stand and open my arms wide, hands lifted to infinite blue sky embracing with wonder this gift of life God has given.  Brown eyes wide open I choose write about these sacred moments of value.  

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Related post:

HCB Book Club: Going Deeper

Glynn’s Writing and Reading as Private Acts

Melo’s Day Nine

Michelle’s The Writing Life

Marilyn’s Bad Day of Writing?

Lyla’s A Spider In My Shower

Cassandra’s Where Words Meet Bone

Erin’s Cherish the Commonplace Holy Moments

L.L.’s Writing for the Lint Pickers

Monica’s Details, Details

Scripture Only Sunday

“Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” 

                         Psalm 25:4-5

Saturday Sketches

Thankful Thursday

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:”  Ecclesiastes 3:1
Whether I am having a good week or a difficult week, it is always the time to give thanks for the Lord for His abundant blessings.  
Father, this week, today, I am thankful for…
531.  Two mom breaks this week…brunch and then dinner with two different friends
532.  New opportunities
533.  A friend for sensitive son to hang out with for the week
534.  Ice cream cones, any flavor
535.  A yummy crock-pot meal…so enjoy those days when you put it in the pot and then just serve up the meal at the end of the day
536.  Singing – voices raised in praise
537. Big news from Darling daughter and Dear son-in-love, you can now call me Grandma  or maybe Nana.  Lots of time yet to ponder that one. 
538.  New life growing in one born from my womb
539.  A field of clover and wildflowers 
540.  Blackberries blooming and growing wild at our farm 

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Check out Ann’s blog anytime to be blessed, but especially on Monday’s to have your heart refreshed through the sharing of community giving thanks to God for his new mercies every day. To check out what the Gratitude Community is all about click the link below.

Mood Altering

The morning is gray and overcast.  I am just not in the mood to write.  There has been too much drama in my life this past week.  Six children and a dear son-in-love, plus an extra boy this week, three dogs, five goats, six horses, planting a garden, homeschooling, need I go on?  So I practice what Julia Cameron writes:

“…if you dump drama into my life, I will put it and you onto the page.”

I take out my notebook and I write “longhand” as she suggests.  Since:

“Any mood is a good writing mood.  The trick is to simply enter whatever mood like a room and sit down and write from there.” 

I write about the drama and the upheaval it brings.   I consider how wonderful it would be to just leave it on the page.   Tightly grasping the pencil I let the words flow from my fingers to the page. 

A prayer begins to weave its way into the flow.  With each word written I pour out my heart.  The disappointment, the frustration, is released to the lines on the page.  The grip on the pencil begins to ease as through the words I am liberated.
Truly I find Ms. Cameron is correct when she quotes a friend:

“Once I started writing, I started to lighten up.  It gave me a way to move through my feelings.”

I wonder if King David wrote his Psalms out longhand?  He begins in distress…

“Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God.  Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer.”

                          He ends in peace…

“I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”  Psalm 4:1,8

I put down the pencil and close the notebook.  The sun has peeked out from behind the clouds.  I notice the birds singing.  I close my eyes and smell the heavy scent of clover.  I leave the drama on the page.  With my mood altered I think we will go have a picnic today.
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Part of a HighCallingBlogs book club reading.
Related posts:
HCB - Invite the Muse to Tea
L.L.’s Julia Cameron Meets ProBlogger
Glynn’s The Poetry that Surrounds Us
Cassandra’s Living With My Writer
Nancy  "Thoughts and Dreams."
Monica’s The Sincerity of Pretense
Cassandra’s Word Play
Lyla's Getting My Foot in the Iron Door
 

Scripture Only Sunday

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life.  He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.   Do you believe this?”           John 11:25

Saturday Sketches