This is my place to spill what is happening in my life, in my heart. Can I truly be real and let how I feel tumble into words? For over a month an icon has sat on my Facebook sidebar – May - Month of Prayer. It has really challenged me for I have felt skeptical lately, or perhaps stale. I pray but it seems to fall flat.
While channel surfing one afternoon I hit upon an old “Archie Bunker” episode. Edith gushes excited because Mike and Gloria are engaged to be married. Archie complains. Edith responds how Archie has always prayed for a son. His comeback is to the effect, 40 years and this is what I get.
Oh how I feel this some days. Ann suggests, “consider: The Practice of Living Easter: Practicing Resurrection.” I wonder how to practice resurrection when I feel hollow inside. At the library I pick up Phillip Yancey’s book entitled “Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference”. Here he begins and where I think I should begin also…
“If prayer stands as the place where God and human beings meet, then I must learn more about prayer. Most of my struggles in the Christian life circle around two themes: why doesn’t God act the way we want God to, and why don’t I act the way God wants me to. Prayer is the precise point where those two themes converge.”
Bearing witness to how God can be seen in the most tragic of circumstances and then feeling all stagnate and mixed up inside has left me searching. I am seeking to find God here in a dry place.
Father, let May be a month to understand prayer, communion with you, to know you in a more intimate way. A month of beginning, taking how I feel broken, offering my helplessness before you allowing you to resurrect my heart.
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3 comments:
Thank you, Nancy, for the transparency of this post. I believe if we are all honest with ourselves, we've all gone through this same dry place. HE will show Himself strong to you.
treasures in darkness... and in dry places, praying for Him to reveal himself and be Living Water and offer answers.
I love this quote from Yancey and your words. It seems you've taken the first step to finding water--realizing you're in a dry place. Let May be a month of refreshing and renewing for you.
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