Scripture Only Sunday

“And I myself will be a wall of fire around it,” declares the Lord, “and I will be its glory within.”  Zechariah 2:5

Thankful Thursday

People see God every day,

they just don't recognize him.” 

~Pearl Bailey

“Like an addiction, a compulsion that can’t stop its seeking, do I always want to see more beauty – more of the glory of God?….Eucharisteo is everywhere and I want to see eucharisteo everywhere and I want to remember how badly I really want to see.”  Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts

I want so badly to see God.  When I count the gifts I see God.  I have become consumed with giving thanks and the hunt for God in the midst of my mundane life.  

Because He keeps giving, I keep counting.  The list goes on…

1001.  Fun son’s eyes alight after spending 8 hours in a lecture about being a teen volunteer at our local zoo

1002.  Getting to spend the whole day just wandering the zoo while waiting for his lecture to end

1003.  God’s creativity – such diversity among His creation

1004.  Quick story…Two weeks ago as I was driving along a neighborhood in an adjacent community I saw a tree that had been cut down.  This week as I was driving around town I saw this amazing piece of artwork.  The artist saw so much more than a tree. I want to look at my lift through the Master Artist’s lens.   Father, give me eyes to see what truly resides in all you have created.  Help me see past the bark to the heart.  (Wish I had thought to ask the artist his name when he gave me permission to snap a photo.  Thank you to a friend who saw the local story on a local news channel about this Lion of Judah.)

1005.  Getting to hang out with little one for a whole day

1006.  Pulling sandals out of the closet

1007.  Fun finds at a local thrift store

1008.  Spending time as a mentor – getting to know this child of God

1009.  Remodeling project moving along

1010.  Grace to abide in the waiting

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Check out Ann’s inspiring blog to learn more about 1000 gifts and The Gratitude Community. 

Ann shares and you might want to check it out:

“A new place to count the ways He loves … a new place just for you. A new site for us all to see His beauty & love –right where we are. I pray we’ll be rejoicing over there a lot… You all so make me smile! More on the new www.onethousandgifts.com place to come…”

Life Moves…

Life is moving fast and slow these days.   Fast, so much is happening: for one son baseball season gets ready to start, for another volunteer service at a local zoo begins, it is the season to begin preparing soil for garden (yes I’m going to try again despite last years failure).  Slow, we prepare house for moving and then wait on crane operators, wait on movers.   In the meantime there are things we are doing to prepare the land to receive the house. 

Between these activities (and a few others) my time is stretched, just like the stretching of my spiritual life as well.  The local body of women prepare to remodel a room in a ministry for women trying to get back on their feet. God has graced me with an opportunity to mentor one of these precious women, one who is following Jesus and her second chance.   God is stretching me in such good ways.

So I feel led to make some changes around this quiet blog.  Just like the house above has been taken apart and we wait to put it back together I feel I should take things apart and start over.  I’ll still be around just not as often.  Thankful Thursday and Scripture Only Sunday will continue.  My mind feels too stretched to write more – maybe because my body also is too engaged in other activities.   I have several more posts on L.L. Barkat’s book Stone Crossings.  Her honesty and humor in the midst of her searching for God is a beautiful garden meant for others to find rest, comfort, and encouragement.  

During this year of consume I pray my offerings before the Lord will bring His name honor and glory.  That Jesus would use me as an instrument of His grace. 

If there is anyone who happens to be reading who does not know the saving, life-giving power found in Jesus Christ, please go to the Motivation header at the top of this blog and check out how to find eternal life.

I appreciate all who have taken the time to come by and leave a comment.  For a while the comment function here will be turned off.  I would still appreciate your emails.  For those of who have prayed and encouraged me over the last couple of years - thank you sincerely. 

“The LORD bless you
   and keep you;
the LORD make his face shine on you
   and be gracious to you; 
the LORD turn his face toward you
   and give you peace.”  Numbers 6:24-26

No Pretending

I devour her words, slowly at first, then the tempo builds.  I want to discover where this faith journey has taken her.  What has given her strength and hope during the dark times.   There have been paths of dark in my life – there are still some now.  As I consume Chapter 5 this Scripture repeats itself in my mind:

“Submit yourselves, then, to God.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you.”  James 4:7 

I like her words…spiritual resistance…jotting words in the margin…I journal scraps of strength…stitching together a witness of hope.

Chapter 5 - Sword in Stone - Resistance

tell-it-like-it-is
enraged by departure
man in the forest
circle arms of prayer
pour on unseen battle
raging in the heavens
approach earthly problem
spiritual resistance
invisible hunter
enemies don’t announce
whole armor of God
covers head to toe
battle is hard
sometimes unprepared
Spirit warns
evil one in the forest

In Chapter 6 her phrase “once dipped, always stained” takes me back to the naming of 2010 – Grace and Glory.  God continues this theme, expands and deepens it, even as He takes a new turn this year.  I look back and see how He has stained me with His glory.  Immersed I find my eyes open to all who have been stained by His glory. 

Chapter 6 - Howe’s Cave - Baptism

baptism
descend into water
lament soul crushed
weight of darkness
rescue played out
re-created by Light
mikveh
like newborn child
journeys into life
soul ascends resuscitated
never turning back
    once dipped
    always stained
walk into wrestling
limp through struggling

Oh, how the next chapter speaks to me now.  Not because I am struggling with doubt at the present moment.  Someone close to me is dealing with doubt.   Arms have grown weary holding up the shield of faith.  The belt of truth has fallen around ankles tripping the warrior.  Questioned faith is a stronger faith.  Enclosed in this chapter I find strength to hang on tight and seek God for blessing.

Chapter 7 – Palisade Cliffs – Doubt

drowning
call kingdom crisis
hotline
“borderlands of belief”
danger
no pretend faith
vulnerable
peter out of boat
testing
Jesus didn’t abandon
tackle
plead for blessing
faith
stronger to heal
soaking

______________________________________________________

For the last several weeks, and for several weeks to come, I am posting thoughts from L.L. Barkat’s book Stone Crossings.  Click here to learn more about L.L. who is graciously allowing me to weave her words as they affect my life.

Previous posts:

Shame, Messiness, & Suffering

Overcomers

Scripture Only Sunday

“For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come.”  Hebrews 13:14

Saturday Sketches

Thankful Thursday–Reaching 1000 gifts

Drawing closer, completing, my 1000 gifts goal I want to make the naming of every one important.  I stop and rethink, every gift, every blessing counted, is important.  A grace from the Father’s hand into my life.  Daily little tokens of His unending love for me.  Those little things add up to a Father’s lavish love. 

I sit here on this warm, sunny, clear February day – Valentine’s day.  Precious husband is at the fire station today.  Children play in the back yard – one in wood shop while another runs through field still another pulls trash to road for pick up.  Our second man child, who just turned 17, loads ladders and 2x4’s – getting materials ready to work on house moving project tomorrow.  As I am clicking through astronomy links for the children’s science, I come across the composite image of Arp 147.  The title of the article is “Cosmic Valentine's Day Photo Reveals Black Hole Ring”.  Even from space God longs to show how great and wide and high His love is for us. 

So through the sneezing, stuffy nose, and cough on such a gorgeous day I take lessons from Ann, listing all the ways He loves me.   Opening the spiral notebook I look back over the last week of counting.  Lists made by not just me, but children as well. 

Father, teach me how to show them that every day is grace.  Every day is a perfect opportunity to open our hands and receive whatever comes from you.  Then lift hands and give thanks in return for everything. 

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!”  1 John 3:1

Father – giving thanks in all things, I say thank you for…

971.  Princess daughter fixing cheese toast when I feel bad

972.  Sensitive son putting ham and cheese sandwiches together

973.  Three youngest red faced from roller skating

974.  Lunch and shopping with mentee

975.  Washing powder for dirty laundry

976.  Princess daughter making biscuits from scratch all by herself (they were yummy)

977.  Bible Blitz for youngest – encouragement from Children’s Minister – instilling a love for God’s Word

978.  New remodeling project started – 3 boys take down suspended ceiling in dining room

979.  One boy hauls trash to truck

980.  Helpful Son hauls truck full of trash to dump

981.   Princess daughter checking out French and Spanish lesson DVD’s from library

982.  Challenge son volunteering at fire department

983.  Pictures from Gold-hearted mom’s travel adventures

984.  Darling daughter’s ducks laying eggs

985.  Precious husband cleaning toilet

986.  Two other boys cleaning toilets

987.  Medicine for cold relief

988.  Helpful son going to get medicine

989.  Fabulous family allowing me to stay in bed while sick

990.  Even though I feel bad I enjoy folding warm towels on cool afternoons

991.  Cough drops

992.  Warm Krispy Kreme donuts, shaped like hearts

993.  Freezer full of venison

994.  Venison roast and potatoes in the crockpot

995.  Sensitive son making shepherd’s pie

996.  Cool homeschool helps on the internet

997.  Shelves full of books

998.  Soft peppermint candies

999.  Snow that comes and goes

1000.  Precious husband’s hands enclosing mine

I celebrate, now I’ve made it to 1000!   And I truly can’t wait to see what God has in store for the next 1000. 

Because He keeps giving, I keep counting.  The list goes on…

____________________________________________

Check out Ann’s inspiring blog to learn more about 1000 gifts and The Gratitude Community. 

Ann shares and you might want to check it out:

“A new place to count the ways He loves … a new place just for you. A new site for us all to see His beauty & love –right where we are. I pray we’ll be rejoicing over there a lot… You all so make me smile! More on the new www.onethousandgifts.com place to come…”

Grace, Thanksgiving, Joy

Eucharisteo – a life transforming word.   The depth of her learned wisdom she graciously gives.  Gives what comes from God above – grace, thanksgiving, joy – because it has totally changed her life. 

I take her words to heart as I draw close to 1,000 on my thankful list.  Because, like Ann, when I sit to write it down it brings a smile to my face – remembering all the gifts of love from the Father’s hand.    I want to be consumed with eucharisteo.  My journal is filling quickly, recording the gifts and lines for learning how to live thankful.

Chapter 2 - A Word to Live…and Die By

do I really want
salvation - a door -
giving thanks in
wounded pain filled
days - sacrificing -
what? bitterness,
anger, resentment -
living empty or
grace, thanksgiving, joy
Eucharisteo
always precedes
miracle

Chapter 3 - First Flight

writing it down
unwrapping love
learn Eucharisteo
multiplies joy
naming gifts
practice to learn
train to transform
hard lives open
rain of grace
cracked, dry, broken
joy penetrates
life grows
magnifies
His love unending

__________________________________________

You can click here for interviews at (in)courage with Ann Voskamp on her book, One Thousand Gifts.

Shame, Messiness, & Suffering

Reading the truth of her words, shame, messiness, suffering, these come into all our lives.  We choose how to deal.  I am journaling my thoughts as I read through L.L. Barkat’s book Stone Crossings.  She graciously allows me to weave her words in a way that helps me remember.  In the remembering I see that God writes our stories and uses each one for His glory if we choose.  Even the times our stories are filled with…

Chapter 2 - Shame

sordid shame
exposes
crushed crimson
covers

Chapter 3 - Messiness

pouring prayers
like magic potions
dreams delayed
doubt despair, daily,
truth toils,
time, trust totally

Chapter 4 - Suffering

stroke stones
scorn Shiloh
ask Assyria
prodigals path
humbled hunger
consider choice
ruin rage
God’s grace

Life is light and darkness, we can reach toward the light or sink into the darkness.  Covered, trusting, God’s grace – I see her straining toward the light and join her there.  Exposed, despairing, raging - she grieves for those who choose to sink and seek to drag others with them – I grieve also. 

Scripture Only Sunday

"Who, then, are those who fear the LORD? He will instruct them in the ways they should choose." Psalm 25:12

Saturday Sketches

Thankful Thursday

We have walked this week through repentance to rejoicing.  Wandering through darkness into light. There is much to be thankful for!  Father…the words feel inadequate on my tongue and yet they feel full.  Thank you for….
961.  Holy Spirit conviction
962.  Forgiveness, over and over again
963.  Victory over sin and death
964.  Truth
965.  Tears, healing tears, I think I list these often
966.  Treats from friends who live far away, a CD of music that flows from You through her fingers
967.  Time off, sort of, for Precious husband  (he is off from his fire station duties for a few days, but working on our house moving project)
968.  Sleeping in, snuggled next to Precious husband
969.  Blackbird song that comes about 6:30 every morning
970.  Boys bringing home quail after their hunting outing over the weekend
_______________________________________________________
Check out Ann’s inspiring blog to learn more about 1000 gifts and The Gratitude Community.  You can click on the books above to learn more.

A slave to what?

After a day of raging and repentance I awake to a clear blue sky.  Children and I dress, head for worship.  The first song to lead us into the Lord’s presence starts…

“Into marvelous light I’m running

Out of darkness, out of shame,

By the cross You are the truth

You are the life, You are the way”

The tears begin to flow and I feel the darkness and the shame of the previous day lifting. 

“My dead heart now is beating

My deepest stains now clean.

Your breath fills up my lungs.

Now I’m free, Now I’m free.”¹

I’ve walk through muddy waters, waters that I muddied, stains from the pit still cling.  Pastor calls us to communion, taking the bread and wine.  I step into Jesus stream of grace, receive His body, broken and bruised for my sin.   I weep because He was sacrificed for my sin – sin is fatal.  The cup of His blood cleanses – creates in me a clean heart.   I weep for the freedom Jesus blood bought – righteousness.

Monday morning, Tuesday morning children and I get up to start the day.  We begin with communion.  Sin is serious – it cost God everything – Jesus paid the penalty – my debt is cancelled.  I want to dwell here daily.  To crucify the flesh and live to the Spirit.  To walk in the light, not splash from the pit.

“You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.”  Romans 6:18

_____________________________________________

¹Song lyrics by Charlie Hall, “Marvelous Light”

Splashing

It has been a while since I have had to deal with myself in this way.   Unfortunately, I have done it again.  Two boys squabble and I stop cooking breakfast, try to understand.  One boy blows up and stomps down stairs slamming doors.  Yelling and acting like a fool I stomp down after him.  Just a little push and I jump – cannonball – into this pit.  Splashing a muddy, ugly mess on everyone.  The boys have left, hunting, with their father and I am left with myself.

Into my mind pops a few phrases from one of the books I am reading.

“…I wonder too…if…the losses that puncture our world, our own emptiness, might actually become places to see.  That which tears open our souls, these holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart-aching beauty beyond.  … To the God whom we endlessly crave. …How do I give up resentment for gratitude, gnawing anger for spilling joy?”  Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts

I was spilling and it certainly was not joy.  I sit down, head in hands, and feel empty.  It is my own sin that has put me here in this pit.  I open journal to spill words – words of repentance – God help me.   The verse on the page mocks me, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”  John 10:10 NKJV

God, this does not feel like an abundant life.  I hate this!

“Ah, God responds, you were not choosing life.  You were choosing that pit – the one filled with resentment and anger – the one that leads to death.  I hate this also.”

Ouch, God, you are right – I chose to act in a manner that did not honor Your name.  I chose the pit over the light of Your glory.  Father, forgive me. 

God speaks truth and it hurts.  The words and actions that flew through the house this morning, they wounded.  Jesus was wounded for me, for my sin.  The price has been paid.

“Forgiven.”

I think back on Ann’s words in chapter one.  I gather them up and meditate on them and they flow into my journal like this…

Chapter 1 - An Emptier, Fuller Life
let the pain filled
holes of life empty,
mysteries holding soul
satisfying manna nourishes,
saturates grace and glory
an emptier, fuller life

God’s truth – it heals – because He speaks Truth in love.   I choose to empty myself, letting go of resentment, anger.  I confess my sin.  I  receive the Lord’s forgiveness – He nourishes my soul.  I wait for boys to return home thinking about how to seek their forgiveness and set things straight.  As I empty myself I pray God would clean up the splattered mess.  I trust God to heal them as He does me. 
___________________________________
We have a good conversation when they return from hunting.  But there are still areas where the punctures stay tender.

For more on Chapter One of the One Thousand Gifts Book Club click here.

Overcomers

Our big red dog lays content at my feet.  I am reading slowly because L.L. Barkat and Ann Voskamp’s words burn going down.  The pain and healing they have experienced flows through the bound pages.   It is difficult to read parts of their stories.   My heart reaches out in empathy, wishing life didn’t have to be so messy.   Through the mess, the wounds and restoration, I see God’s grace and glory in their lives.  I marvel at how He makes His own more than conquerors through such agonizing conditions.

I take words from poet Barkat and I piece the beginning of the story she lived into simple lines.  Lines to help me remember where God started carrying her.

Chapter 1 – Stepping Stones – Conversion

cosmic mischief
Bible let loose
biker babe believes
embraces
ranting father
forgets fairy tales
have fairy tale
endings
walk through
muddy water
treasures of darkness
enter
streams of grace
riches stored
secret places
happily ever after
eternal

Scripture Only Sunday

For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.   2 Corinthians 4:6

 

Saturday Sketches

Thankful Thursday

“I want to accomplish everything that needs to be done, but my mind won’t stop and my body won’t start. Soon I begin to feel weary and useless.” Julie Ackerman Link
 
Saturday I sat and opened my email account.  Enclosed were emails from two blog friends.  Just simple words, "How have you been?"   I didn't even know I needed to hear them.  Yet when the emails came back-to-back the floodgate of tears welled up and spilled over.    My precious husband cares enough to asks me every day “How are you?”  Yet their words opened a tender spot I did not even know was there.  Amazing how we can go through our days and not even recognize the empty spots in our own soul.   
 
They got more than they bargained for in my reply.
 
I typed, “... to answer your question, I am Tired.  I think all the excitement…[from life]… has left me entering the new year tired.    So I am spending the cold days indoors, reflecting, remembering.  I continue to count the Lord's blessings and seek the voice of the Lord that has become as quiet as the cold mornings.   
 
I want to be an obedient daughter of the King.  Please pray that I will hear His voice clearly and follow where He leads.  That I will be bold in sharing the gospel of His love. 

Thanks for asking.  I am always amazed at how God works through this media.   I can assure you that these two emails today will be on my gratitude list for Thursday.”

I enter the week refreshed because two people simply asked and then listened.  They lifted the arms that were hanging down. 

Father, I am grateful you send others along when we don’t even know we have a need.  I am so grateful that you give blessings to count…

941. Husband who daily asks “How are you?”
942. Emails that open the truth of my heart
943. Online friends who listen and pray
944. Kind comments from readers here who take the time to listen
945. Text from “K” in the middle of the week, another checking, “How are you?”
946. Texts from Gold-hearted mom as she travels with aunt and uncle
947. God sending caring people into my life


943. Winter dog bath then drying with hair dryer



949. Clean dog sitting at my feet while I crochet caps



950. Circus treat
951.  Keeping little one while darling daughter and dear son-in-love go to the circus a different day
952.  Sitting and chatting after service with an amazing woman of God
953. Tears falling, refreshing, cleansing the soul
954.  Birthdays to celebrate
955.  Faithfully committed, daily reciting Scripture, treasure of His word into my heart
956.  Music soothing, quieting my soul

Love His Music

957.  Warm temps over the weekend – 60’s
958.  Walking, some running, a track during the warm, sunny days
959.  A project that has been sitting on hold getting started - again
960.  The Light of Life living in me

Hear

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” - Deuteronomy 6:4-5

Since about 1:00 am January 1 this verse has been running through my mind.  I have even been trying to learn this passage in Hebrew.  I have learned verse 4 so far.  Although in Hebrew it would be written from right to left here is how it reads:

Shema Yisrael     Adonai Eloheinu        Adonai Eḥad -

Hear, O Israel: the Lord is our God, the Lord is One

This morning, February 1, I turn on my computer and the verse of the day at Biblegateway.com is Deuteronomy 6:4-5.  

Listen, God is one. 

Love Him fully. 

Be consumed with love for Adonai.