Chasing Chickens and Forgiveness

It is 6:00 am and the chickens are loose.  Princess daughter, Sensitive son, and I quickly put on clothes and head out to gather chickens, clean tractors, feed, and settle them for the day.  It is earlier than usual to deal with chickens and I was trying to have my morning devotions.  Chasing chickens was on the agenda for later.  The further the chickens scatter the more frustrated I become. 

Frustration turns to anger the more times I chase the chickens around instead of into a tractor.  Anger rises until I lash out at chickens and children alike.  I totally fail with the interruption.  Verses rise from last weeks seven-day stay…

“They cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered (saved) them from their distress.”  Psalm 107:6, 13, 19, 28. 

This is what I need, why Jesus came, to deliver (save) me when I fail and call out to him in the middle of my trouble.  The trouble that arises from my own sinful heart.  I cry out to the Lord in repentance seeking forgiveness.  I humbly ask children for forgiveness as well.  They all freely extend grace to this easily frustrated mom.

Children walk up to the pasture to pet horses.  The cows across the street bellow so loudly their voices echo.  Finally the chickens peep, content in their tractors.  Chartreuse grass grows tall, trees fully clad in differing shades of green stretch towards a sky filled with puffy clouds floating lazily overhead.  A few chick-a-dees and wrens scratch at the leftover chicken feed close to where I write.  It is a glorious morning, I am forgiven, delivered (saved).

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Related posts:

Perhaps an Oasis

The Father Leads

Scripture Only Sunday

“He turned the desert into pools of water and the parched ground into flowing springs; there he brought the hungry to live and they founded a city where they could settle.”  Psalm 107:35-36

The Father Leads

The ground has been broken, fertilized, and planted.  Last year I was too zealous and we planted a garden much to big for us to tend.  The weeds took over and the harvest was very little.  This year we have planted seven small beds with vegetables.  Seeds have been sown, hope has been planted.

The final seeds and plants went in the ground yesterday.  The soil is so dry and thirsty from lack of rain.  Water is gathered from a creek beside the garden and gently poured on the ground.  

Today there is the promise of rain hanging in the air, it smells like rain, clean and fresh.  Thunder and lightening crackle in the air as we wait and hope.

Psalm 107 comes to mind… “They were hungry and thirsty…He turned the parched ground into flowing springs…”  I have been staying in place here, Psalm 107:4-9, 35-36, for four days of the seven-day stay.  The soil of my heart has been prepared, hope has been planted.  Standing still and firm I read, “They cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress…He led them…”  

The rain comes across the hill and drops gently on the ground and then harder it pings on the tin roof.  It sings a song of refreshing.  “Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love, and his wonderful deeds for men, for he satisfies the thirsty…”  The Father leads and I follow Him into the desert.  The place that began with dust flying up in my face has become an oasis with pools of refreshing water. 

In the desert there is a company of faith heroes who have traveled here before.  One is Moses who met God in flames of fire on the far side of the desert (Exodus 3:2-3).  “God sent Moses to the back side of the desert, away from the distractions of Egypt to get his attention.”₁ “He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle…there he brought the hungry to live.”  
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₁John Bevere, Drawing Near, p.92

Thankful Thursday

Last week Precious husband’s mother left her worldly body and went to be with her Lord Jesus.  She had lived a long, full life.  The last several years had been physically and mentally challenging for her.  So even though there is sorrow there is also joy. 
Grandmother K. was always a thoughtful, giving person.  She remembered everyone’s birthday – you could count on receiving a card in the mail.  She would sit and read books to the children.  She lived in our home for a while and no matter how hard I tried I could not get her to stop cleaning.  She understood how difficult it could be keeping a home full of six children clean – she raised six herself. 
I always admired her raising those six by herself.  She worked tirelessly, sometimes two and three jobs to provide for them.  Her oldest son pointed out the fact that for many years she slept on the couch in order to give them beds to sleep on.  So today…
Father – I am grateful for the gift of an admirable mother-in-law.  Truly as my brother-in-law says – we hit the jackpot of mother-in-laws.  I am grateful for…
her birthing Precious husband
her provision for those six
she sought to instill a love for the Lord in her children
she took time to send birthday cards
her reading to my children giving me a moment of peace
folded laundry
clean dishes
swept floors
her faithfulness
her life
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Counting the treasures the Lord provides…this week #1101-1110.

Perhaps an Oasis

We have lived at the farm for two weeks.  They have been filled unpacking boxes, securing chicken housing, breaking up small garden beds, not feeling settled.  Sunday morning at Gold-hearted mom’s there is internet access.  I peruse one of my favorite blogs, a different story.   Lyla suggests a seven-day stay.  Seven days spent in one place of Scripture.  





I have been wandering in Psalms, while walking this desert path.  Sunday afternoon I pick up Princess daughter’s backpack and hammock.  I fill the backpack with Bible and journal.   The big red dog lopes ahead of me.  Crossing the pasture she races knowing there is a water hole close by.  After a quick dip, she comes back shaking herself dry.  We enter the woods and she 
keeps just a hill ahead of me.






 Hanging the hammock I settle myself and open to the Psalm chapters for the day.  Psalm 107 is included and I am brought to a stop.  A seven-day stay here feels right.  Perhaps an oasis can be found here…

“Some wandered in desert wastelands, finding no way to a city where they could settle.  They were hungry and thirsty, and their lives ebbed away.  Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.  He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle.  Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.  … He turned the desert into pools of water and the parched ground into flowing springs; there he brought the hungry to live and they founded a city where they could settle.”  Psalm 107:4-9…35-36

Scripture Only Sunday

“I said, “Oh, that I had the wings of a dove!  I would fly away and be at rest – I would flee far away and stay in the desert;”  Psalm 55:6-7

Thankful Thursday

There is a loneliness that comes with moving.  Different neighborhood and stores, rhythm of life changes, finding a new body of believers – all these things bring a silent loneliness with them.  

I fill the quiet with worship music and my heart continues to sing a song of gratitude.  This hunt for holy treasures – this discipline – keeps me centered – eyes focused.

Father – to tell the truth it has been a difficult week – in the middle of this dry heart I fill the quiet with worship.  I am grateful…

1101.  the wisdom of experience – seasons come and go – Father, you never change
1102.  worship that comforts my soul
1103.  gifted worship leaders (thinking of a local worship leader Matt Jackson)
1104.  a quiet place to grow
1105.  Jesus you listen when I grieve
1106.  walking to garden with two youngest
1107.  cool breeze riding ATV
1108.  soft soil
1109.  waking to the bawling of cows
1110.  modern medicine, especially after a run in with rusty wire

“For all things sing to you, at times we just hear them more clearly.”  Poet Rilke

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Above photo of new neighbor’s pasture across the street.

Far Side of the Desert

Last week was a hot one with several days reaching 90 degrees already.   Taking care of chickens and working around the farm has kept me outside most days.  Which is good because the house has no air conditioning, it is cooler outside than inside.   I work in the heat and think of the desert. 

I start to try the garden spot from last year but the ground is too hard and dry.  My heart feels the same.  I move to another part of the property to try a few square feet of garden – to see if I can grow anything.  Four squares are started with four more to do this week.  I am shooting for a late summer harvest with things that like to grow in the heat.

Moses headed to the far side of the desert with his flock of sheep.  Here the angel of the Lord appeared to him.  In a dry land God drew Moses near, into His very presence.  A desert can be a lonely place or a place of God’s presence.  How I want this dry time, desert wandering, to be a place of God’s presence.

desert

far side
dusty desert
God’s fire
burn
not consuming
flaming bush
shed sandals
brilliant
peaceful presence
speaks, hears
believe
Heart desires
full deliverance
bring
captives freedom
Life-giving light
sons to glory
burn

---Nancy Kourmoulis

Scripture Only Sunday

“He split the rocks in the desert and gave them water as abundant as the seas; He brought streams out of the rocky crag and made waters flow down live rivers.”  Psalm 78:15-16

 

Thankful Thursday

In a world that seems driven by social media, where I frequently take a spin, this week has been a silent one.  Over the Mother’s Day weekend we moved to our small farmhouse.  This will keep us close to this land.  Now we can attempt another garden, give our chickens room to grow, let the children have room to run and care for animals, and Precious husband can more easily put the log house back together when he is off work.

Since the move we have not had internet access or cable TV installed at our place.  I am considering keeping it off for a while and just using the local library hotspot.  But I will say that being disconnected from this place and Facebook has left me feeling disconnected (sad, it has only been four days).  

I am so grateful to be here in this quieter setting (even with the techno withdrawals).  It will give opportunity for me to focus more on the month of prayer.  Intimacy takes time and it seems without TV or internet there is a lot more time.  

Father – today I am thankful for…

listening at the zoo to the lion’s roar
painting with Darling daughter
fairly smooth transition to small farmhouse
foundation block laid for log house
Mother’s Day lunch cooked by Darling daughter and shared with Gold-hearted mom
Sensitive son’s help with chicken tractors
Friends who make the transition fun, allowing us to ride their horse…
Teaching us to train one of our horses
Fun son mowing field
local library hotspot for wi-fi
quiet spots to pray, listen, be still

Scripture Only Sunday

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.”  Isaiah 66:13

Streams of Mercy

I missed it yesterday – my weekly thankful list.  This dry, stale feeling makes it hard to write.  The gratitude is there in abundance after the devastation that roared through my home state last week.

Tuesday night I sit down and pour out how dry I am feeling these days.  Seeking God to direct me I have picked up His Word along with several books.  Desperately I want to know Him, live in His presence, walk the paths of His garden.  

“It occurs to me, thinking about prayer, that most of the time I get the direction wrong.  I start downstream with my own concerns….Instead, I should start upstream where the flow begins….God already cares…Grace, …descends to the lowest part. Streams of mercy flow. I begin with God…”  Phillip Yancey, Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference

God, in His grace, lets water begin to flow.  A friend, not know about the post I am writing, sends encouragement, suggesting another book on prayer.   When I begin my morning reading here, the verse of the day is…

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.”  Philippians 4:6

Empty I begin, seeking God.  True to His word I find Him in the first stumbling steps.  

I posted words from a song written by the worship leader at a wonderful local body here I have the privilege to attend.  I leave you with his YouTube video of the song (I hope)…

From a dry place

This is my place to spill what is happening in my life, in my heart.   Can I truly be real and let how I feel tumble into words?  For over a month an icon has sat on my Facebook sidebar – May - Month of Prayer.  It has really challenged me for I have felt skeptical lately, or perhaps stale.  I pray but it seems to fall flat.

While channel surfing one afternoon I hit upon an old “Archie Bunker” episode.  Edith gushes excited because Mike and Gloria are engaged to be married.  Archie complains.  Edith responds how Archie has always prayed for a son.  His comeback is to the effect, 40 years and this is what I get. 

Oh how I feel this some days.  Ann suggests, “consider: The Practice of Living Easter: Practicing Resurrection.”  I wonder how to practice resurrection when I feel hollow inside.   At the library I pick up Phillip Yancey’s book entitled “Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference”.  Here he begins and where I think I should begin also…

“If prayer stands as the place where God and human beings meet, then I must learn more about prayer.  Most of my struggles in the Christian life circle around two themes:  why doesn’t God act the way we want God to, and why don’t I act the way God wants me to.  Prayer is the precise point where those two themes converge.”

Bearing witness to how God can be seen in the most tragic of circumstances and then feeling all stagnate and mixed up inside has left me searching.  I am seeking to find God here in a dry place. 

Father, let May be a month to understand prayer, communion with you, to know you in a more intimate way.  A month of beginning, taking how I feel broken, offering my helplessness before you allowing you to resurrect my heart.

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Seeing God in the Storm

Gold-hearted mom, three youngest and I load up in the van head to the Wal-Mart.  We pick up water and snacks.  The check out woman asks if it is for the tornado victims.  It is really a small thing to offer.  We head to a local church, leave our donations, and ask for a volunteer assignment.  They send us to clean up limbs after a group with a chainsaw cuts the trees apart.

We work side by side with a youth group from another local church.  We work with one homeowner pulling limbs to the road.  Another older homeowner watches as her yard is cleaned.   Several people come by offering cold water and snacks for those working clean-up, while others come with plates of sandwiches. 

Just as we are about done I stop to ask a woman if she knows whether anything else on the road needs to be done.  Look at all the love being shown here, she says.  Then she points to the house on the road that received the worst damage.  That was my house, she informs me.  It is a total loss the insurance company said.  I offer my sympathy telling her how sorry I am.  Quickly she responds, “I’m not, I found God.”  Then she tells her story…

She was up early getting her first cup of coffee not knowing there was bad weather.  She sat down and as she did it was like a bomb exploded in her house.  She barely escaped her heart being pierced by a pine tree.  Running quickly to the hall to escape falling trees and rain she remembers the bathroom is the safest place. 

When she reaches the bathroom the roof there also starts to fall in at which point she calls out for God to help her.   Immediately the storm around her stills.  She asks God for more, please God let my dogs be okay, they are all I have.  When she finds her flashlight, she shines it around and finds her two little dogs dazed but alive.  God, could you also let my truck be okay, I need it in order to work.  When daylight dawns her truck is covered with limbs but not damaged. 

She cries to God, you love me this much, that you would answer me when I call after I’ve been so far away.  America needs this she says.  Life could end so quickly.  Are you ready for eternity?  Let Jesus pierce your heart with his love.  He has pierced her heart totally and she just wants to tell everyone. 

We leave headed home, my heart has been pierced, shot clean through with amazement at how much God loves.  His love is so big that even in the midst of unbelievable destruction he surrounds his children with his grace.   We went to offer a small token of support to those who have lost so much.   I come away with a glimpse of God’s glory – seeing him in the storm.   

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Images trees down in Gold-hearted mom’s yard and at our farm.  Small things compared to the destruction that ravaged my home state last week.  Please pray for those who have lost family members as well as homes and businesses.  It will be a long road.  Pray that God’s grace and glory will shine through all the pain.

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Linking here…

On, In and Around Mondays (which partly means you can post any day and still add a link) is an invitation to write from where you are. Tell us what is on, in, around (over, under, near, by...) you. Feel free to write any which way... compose a tight poem or just ramble for a few paragraphs. But we should feel a sense of place. Would you like to try? Write something 'in place'.

Scripture Only Sunday

“I know that my redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand on the earth.” – Job 19:25