Desert Companion

In the desert God has brought me to the tent of meeting (Exodus 33).  In the midst of the desert where my heart has felt dry – empty – even here His hand has guided me.  His right hand is holding me. 

“Moses said to the LORD, “You have been telling me, ‘Lead these people,’ but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, ‘I know you by name and you have found favor with me.’ If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you.”  Exodus 33:12-13

God knows me by name.  He created me and knows everything about me.  When I sit or when I rise, before a word is on my tongue. There is nothing about me that God does not fully know.

On the dark days when His presence seems far away…

“It is in the  dark that God is passing by … because God has  tucked me in a  cleft of the rock  and covered me, protected me with His hand …”   Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts

This is what I have always known to be true and it has been affirmed in my life.  That there are “treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places.”  In this desert we walk back to this truth…the treasures and riches are so that I can say, I know that you are Lord, the God of Israel, who summons me by name. 

Moses would go into the tent of meeting, the Lord would speak to him and after Moses would return to camp.  BUT his young aid Joshua did not leave the tent.  I join Joshua here and I don’t want to leave because the Father, Jesus, the Spirit, and I are becoming companions.  Here in the desert where God has lead me, to our tent of meeting, I stop and make space for God.  I listen…

“…every moment is a message from The Word – God – who can’t stop writing His heart.”  Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts

Daily I wake up hungry, daily He gives me manna and water.  My heart is consumed with a desire to KNOW – to SEE GOD – who knows me by name.  We are sitting at the kitchen table, two youngest and I, surrounded by Bible, journal, school books, coffee, and biscuits. 

“Then the cloud covered the Tent of Meeting, and the glory of the LORD filled the tabernacle.”  Exodus 40:34

Scripture Only Sunday

“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.”  Psalm 40:1-2

Thankful Thursday

There is no end to the new things my husband will try and can do.  He built the two primary residences we have lived in over the years.  He has remodeled many more houses doing everything from the sheetrock, electric and plumbing work, pouring foundations, installing cabinets, tile-linoleum-wood floors, painting, landscaping.  The list could go on because the man can do it all. 

This past week he rented the equipment, had a friend come help, along with two of our sons, and they removed the moving beams from the house.  Seeing those long beams come out was quite scary – I could not watch all the process.  I was sincerely thankful when they were out! 

He then taught the boys how to work a track hoe and later in the day one of the boys convinced me to climb in and give the equipment a try.   We moved a mound of dirt around, expanded our water/swim hole and dug a hole to prepare for a septic tank (one day). 

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.”  Colossians 3:23

Precious husband works many hours to provide for our family.  He has many jobs but the one that brings home the bacon is as a  firefighter/paramedic.  This vocation means he usually works every Sunday but one a month.  Because of this he does not usually attend service.   Wednesday night as we were headed to service one of our sons spoke with such insight.  “Dad works hard, actions speak louder than words to him.  He would rather be the church than go to church.” 

We have taught them that church is more than a building or group gathered on Sunday morning.  We are the church and should behave as such wherever we go.  

Father – Thank you for giving this son insight into the heart of his father.  Many others miss this truth and misunderstand Precious husband because of that.  Help us to be Your church wherever we go – to work so that You are honored.  Thank you for…

Precious husband, his heart for You, and his many abilities

Foundation of house strengthened

Moving beams removed from house

Safety while removing beams

Learning to work a track hoe

Homeschooling – practical application – boys eager to learn

Water/Swim hole enlarged

Chicken coop rearranged

Curious chickens checking out the new arrangement

A friend meeting me for brunch, thanks “K”

 

Desert Cornerstone

Since moving to the farm in May we have been visiting a few local churches.  The people have been friendly but I had forgotten how difficult it can be to find a new place of fellowship.  A dear friend recommended a place she and her husband had been visiting since moving to the area in April.  So at the first of July we begin visiting.

The first Sunday as the worship began the first line included words about a desert and continues about all our fountains being in Christ.  God had been speaking to me about Christ – the living water.  Several songs later the words “consume me from the inside out” were sung and my ears were definitely listening.  We have quietly been attending and it has not always been easy.  There are differences from our last place of fellowship and it can be difficult.  One week it is fine, the next a child is in tears because it is hard to be the outsider. 

I keep journeying through Exodus, walking in the desert with God’s children.  The Father feeds me with daily manna as I seek Him.  I drink deeply from His springs of life.  I am learning about camping – staying still and then moving when the Father gives instruction.   Here the Father continues the process of revealing Himself and opening my eyes to deal with my sin-sick heart.  He leads me through a process of confession which leads to a period of consecration. 

The Spirit expounds on His teaching about drinking from the Rock.  Thoughts from these verses flow through my mind…

“They all (the Israelites) ate the same spiritual food and drank the same spiritual drink;  for they drank from the spiritual rock that accompanied them, and that rock was Christ.”  1 Corinthians 10:3-4

I look up other verses on a Tuesday morning about cornerstones…

“So this is what the Sovereign Lord says: See, I lay in Zion,  a tested stone,  a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation; the one who trusts will never be dismayed.”  Isaiah 28:16; Romans 9:33

The Wednesday night classes begin and we attend.  From the groups available I choose the women’s Bible study.  I am late and rather embarrassed but take a seat anyway.  The discussion continues and they are discussing Exodus where God hears the cries of His people.  One of the women comments how in the desert God wanted the Israelites to learn total dependence on Him – He provided for their every need.  Their daily food and water, their clothes and shoes did not wear out, He sheltered them from the heat with a cloud by day and from the cool by a pillar of fire at night, He was their front and rear guard. 

I sit on a Thursday afternoon to begin a blog post on Christ being our cornerstone – the Rock of Salvation – in the desert.  As the thoughts roll around in my mind I pick up the hand out from the Wednesday night class.   One of the suggested readings is from Isaiah 44 and I begin to read when verse 8 stops me…

“Do not tremble, do not be afraid.  Did I not proclaim this and foretell it long ago?  You are my witnesses, Is there any God besides me?   No, there is no other Rock, I know not one.”  Isaiah 44:8

He lays the stepping stones before me that lead straight to His sure foundation.  Only a God who hears my cries would so lovingly fill this thirsty child’s cup and entreat me to drink deeply from the spiritual rock who is Jesus.  

Scripture Only Sunday

“If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.” Romans 14:8

Thankful Thursday

The nature of camping is that it gets me out into nature.  The whole of creation surrounds as the tent is set up and a fire pit is made.  Out in the middle of the forest I am more aware of God’s presence.

I have never lived or camped in a desert even though I walk dry dusty places in my heart.  The children of Israel were camped in the Desert of Sinai when they saw God’s smoke and fire, when they heard God’s thundering from the mountain.  They must have been more aware of God’s presence there.

As I journey through this desert of my heart and hear the Lord ask me to camp at the base of the mountain for a while, hear Him ask me to SEE HIM FOR WHO HE IS, I am becoming more aware of God’s presence. 

Isn’t that what giving thanks, counting the blessings of life is all about, becoming more aware of God’s presence in my daily life.  I remember doing a Beth Moore Bible study several years ago where she encourages readers to STOP…Savor The Observable Presence of God in life.

When I have been camping the days were more leisurely.  There was hiking and playing in the streams or slow cooking food over an open fire.  I took time to notice rocks on the path or the shape of leaves or the pattern of tree bark.  I saw things differently.

I want to see God differently on this desert journey.  Not as one who has abandoned me or is insensitive to the difficulties of my life, I have thought this in the past, but as one who has led me here to bring me into a better understanding of who He is.  As I list the things I am grateful for I STOP and SEE GOD FOR WHO HE IS, I get a glimpse of His glory.

Father, this week I am abundantly grateful for…

WHO GOD IS… Full of grace (John 1:14)

                           Reveals Himself (Hebrews 6:17)

    From Psalm 30   …     Deliverer, a Resurrection God;

                                      Healer, heals me;

                                         Turns mourning into dancing;

                                            Removes sackcloth, clothes me with joy

another birthday for Darling daughter

her physical growth – becoming a wife and mom

her spiritual growth – becoming a woman who seeks You

laughter around the game table at midnight

learning to milk a goat

Dear son-in-love teaching us to milk the goat

goats milk in coffee

warm banana bread

family photos

 

Desert Consecration

Israel is camping at the base of the mountain of God and I stop here with them.  God sends instructions for the people to consecrate themselves.   They are to wash their clothes and be ready.  Daily I stand at the crossroads, will I choose to stay consecrated?  Considering the words that pour from lips, choice of music or television, the decisions of how to spend time and money?  What do the choices say about my relationship to God?

I looked up the word consecrated in Webster’s it is defined as “to declare or set apart as sacred, to dedicate, to make sacred (holy).” 

“Or know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God?…That is what some of you were! But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of our Lord Jesus the Messiah and by the Spirit of our God.”  1 Corinthians 6:10-11

Sanctified carries the same connection in the New Testament with the word hagiazó meaning “to make holy, consecrate, sanctify.”   I stand at the base of the mountain and gaze upward, perhaps as the children of Israel did and I find…

“And mount Sinai, the whole of it, smoked, because Jehovah descended upon it in fire; and the smoke thereof ascended as the smoke of a furnace, and the whole mount quaked greatly.”  Exodus 19:18

Jehovah descended upon another mountain in the form of Jesus who lay down His life on the cross.  The mountain is filled with smoke, it quakes, and the God of heaven is the one who consecrates.  Through Jesus I am washed and sanctified.  I SEE GOD FOR WHO HE IS…One who consecrates His own – He has set me apart and makes me holy. 

I navigate the crossroad longing to pursue holiness.  Sin is costly and I have been stained with His glory.  He has consecrated this life.  When I see God for who He is I am grieved when I do not live a consecrated life. I rejoice when His Spirit gives me the ability to repent and walk a consecrated life. 

I am brought back to this verse…

“…choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…

but as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

Joshua 24:15

Scripture Only Sunday

“…choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…

but as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

Joshua 24:15

Thankful Thursday

We are studying rhyming poetry in Literature class this week.  I suggest they keep it simple.  I try my hand at a few lines with the children.

Tomatoes on the window sill
    Ripening in the summer sun
Turn and flip around until
    Red and juicy they are done
Slice and dice, stomachs fill
    Savor portion of garden bounty.

Rising early I head to the garden spot and gather the few items that have matured.  I enjoy the sunflowers with their bold faces gazing toward the sun.

I throw scratch to the chickens and sit a few minutes and watch their silly antics.  I have planted a rose bush and some rosemary beside the chicken coop. 

                 

When the heat becomes intolerable we head to the gym and spend time working our bodies in a less hostile environment.  The children talk about training for a 5K coming up in the fall.  I’m not sure I will be ready but they are moving hard to make it happen.  We swim in the pool for a while as we wait for the cooler part of the day before heading home.

Darling daughter and Dear son-in-love stop by the station on afternoon when we are all hanging out with Precious husband.  He has been working long hours since the house was put back together.  Another generation is introduced to fire trucks.

 

 

 

On one of Precious husband’s days off we head down the road to a local restaurant that has a pier outside.  After dinner two youngest take advantage of a dip in the lake with an amazing sunset for a backdrop.

There have been hard days as well.  Days when Helpful son’s truck breaks down.  Yet I am grateful for boys working together (Challenge Son and Helpful Son) to get truck home while Precious husband is at station.  The truck now sits in the basement while Helpful son tries to figure out how to fix the clutch.

The phone rings and it a call that makes the heart jump.  Challenge son has had a car accident and needs more insurance information.  He assures that he is okay but now his truck looks totaled.  This are hard times.  I begin to fret and worry.

Helpful son encourages, “Mom, it would be easy to count it pure joy if things were easy.  The test comes when you count it joy when it is hard.  Trust the one you read about in that book all the time.”  The tears roll, I needed the support this 17-year-old has given.

So I count it all joy, for all of life is a gift.  I reach for the book that has dared me to live more fully, right in where I am.  Reading the words of the one who started me on this journey of counting the blessings. I flip to underlined words that feed the soul.

“When bridges seem to give way, we fall into Christ’s safe arms, true bridge…It is safe to trust!  …The bridge and our lives shake not because God has abandoned, but the exact opposite:  God is passing by, God is in the tremors.”  ~Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts

So to the One who teaches me to “Count it all joy, when ever you face trials of many kinds….”  I speak grateful words…

Father, this week I am grateful for good days and sad days.  They are all in your hands…

Red and green (may favorite) tomatoes on the window sill

Sunflowers that grew from seeds I planted

Rose bush and rosemary beside a chicken coop

Jogging on treadmills side by side with two youngest

A place to get cool on a hot summer day

Swimming

Children jumping off pier into the lake

Flaming sunsets

Times visiting Precious husband at station

Little One’s interest in Precious husband’s mustache

Laughter as lots of us play cards

Fried green tomatoes and okra

Car accidents where son is safe even if truck is not

Vehicles that break down

Sons who work to fix vehicles that break down

 

Desert Camping

“When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.”  Exodus 3:12

Moses was called to bring God’s people out of slavery – bondage – to the mountain to worship God.  Walking through Exodus with the children of Israel I continue this desert journey.  It has become a journey through the desert of my heart. 

“…they entered the Desert of Sinai and Israel camped there in the desert in front of the mountain…” Exodus 19:2

desert camping
mountain foundation
strong, secure
trumpet sound
mountain trembles
smoke billows
mountain peak
blazing light
God’s glory
consuming fire

“…base our faith on WHO GOD IS rather than what He appears to be doing is crucial to our spiritual health.”¹

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than yours and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55:9

God asks me to stop and camp here at the base of the mountain for a while.  Taking time to SEE GOD for WHO HE IS.  I remember He is God who wants to be found, always full of grace and glory.

_________________________

¹ Beth Moore, Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed

Scripture Only Sunday

“while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.”  Titus 2:13-14

Thankful Thursday

The days become hotter and the weather more humid as we move toward school days.  The library completes its summer reading session with a storytelling face-painter.
The weekend beckons and we share the joys of lives well lived as their 50th wedding anniversary is celebrated.  They have been parents to Precious husband when he needed guidance, they have been friends and mentors as we raise our children, they have been a blessing. 
                 
During these days when it is too hot to move we start school in order to take a break and enjoy the cooler fall weather when it comes. The morning actually begins refreshing and rainy, but by afternoon the temperatures soar with the rising humidity levels.  With box fans blowing we recline on the bed and school begins as a neighbor cuts an overgrown field in the downpour.
                
While Fun son is working at the zoo the two youngest and I ride down to Darling daughter’s and visit with her and little one.  My how he has grown, hard to believe it has been over two weeks since we last saw him.
           
Through all the days I remember…

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”  Colossians 3:17

                                                     …and I give thanks.
Father God, thank you for…
storytelling face-painters
friends who live lives worthy of imitation
50 years of sharing life & love
zoo volunteer days
rainy days
time for learning
silly uncle
growing grandson
sweet aunt
beauty of sunset after the rain  
____________________________________________________
“For all things sing to you, at times we just hear them more clearly.” –Rilke
Thursday’s I give thanks in this spot.  Here I am seeing more clearly how God graces my life with a voice to sing His glory.  There are others who raise their voices in thanksgiving as well.  Check them out here…

Desert confessions

Confession, in the past when difficult times have come – times of desert wanderings – I have been a grumbling complainer.  I have been the children of Israel in the desert, “you have brought me to this desert to starve to death.”  Of course, I didn’t phrase it that way.  My words went, “Why is this happening to me” or “Why does this always happen this way to us.” 

As the words spilled forth faith in God was lost, trust in His goodness was denied.   The feelings that God was absent, unaware, uncaring took a place of prominence in my heart.   The will to continue moving toward God did not exist.  Instead I withdrew my heart and defaulted to the flesh.

The words have been written here before, this desert wandering is different.  Times here are difficult.  There is a list in my journal of things that weigh heavily on my heart.  Some of these things are long-standing troubles.  I see the dismal reality on the page and it saddens me.  From the depths my heart is willing and anxious to have God’s manifest presence as close as possible. 

Isn’t that what the desert journey was about for the Israelites?   Moses taking them to the burning bush mountain to meet with God. 

“When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.”  Exodus 3:12

My heart cries, Yes, I will walk through this desert, trusting God, just to get to the mountain to worship Him.  

Softly in my spirit, His Spirit replies, “Today you have reached the mountain.” 

Face down on my knees with tears wetting the floor I weep.  Weeping in agony for so much pain that continues…in ecstasy for the Lord has led me here…in gratitude for His presence…in joy…in worship that He has brought me to the place where the mountain trembles and trumpets sound…where smoke billows…and the Lord’s voice calls. 

“God waits for us in the quiet wilderness of our hearts.”¹

_____________________________________

¹ Joseph Lumpkin, Dark Night of the Soul