I Can’t Stop Counting

January 2012, it is the last day in this month.  These days will never come again.  Some days I am happy to have enjoyed – Precious husband and boys putting porch and roof on log house.  Some days I am glad to see go – tornadoes that smashed homes last week – the effect lingers.  I reflect on the fact that, good or bad, these days will never come again.

Several years ago I began a gratitude page here and began counting all the ways God blesses.  Somehow I was privileged to come across Ann Voskamp’s blog and her encouragement to list the gifts extended from the Father’s hand.  I posted here a celebration the day I reached 1000 gifts. 

I look back over the gratitude pages, read the list of blessings, open a small journal and begin to handwrite them.  Some of the memories make me smile, some make me weep, some remind me how quickly my life is flowing.  I write the first 200 in the journal.  I hope to have them all compiled in one place, maybe two, by the end of the year. 

I open another journal and again renew the commitment to count.  To acknowledge God in the daily moments and give thanks for each one, whether they be joy or trial.   Ann issues a challenge – a Joy Dare – and I just keep walking down this path adding to the list.  

God’s abiding grace makes it impossible to stop counting.

Because He keeps giving, I keep counting:

January's Joy Dare

Continuing to Count the Gifts #1351 – 1441

1.  3 things about yourself you are grateful for:

Faithful, Peaceful, Artistic

2.   A gift outside, inside, on a plate:

Blue sky, Flannel Sheets, Sausage Balls

3.  3 lines overheard that were graces:

Fun Son compliments Princess daughter's outfit, A new friend, "You have good kids",
"Sometimes life isn't good, but we can always choose to be Godly" ~ Sunday sermon

4.  One gift old, one gift new, & one gift blue:

Parent's bedroom furniture, New Friends, Little One's blue eyes

5.  Something your reading, your making, your seeing:

Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus, paintings, porch going on log house

6.  One thing in your bag, your fridge, your heart:

point & shoot camera, French vanilla creamer, reflect

7.  3 graces from people you love:

Princess daughter feeds animals by herself, Precious husband always supports & provides, call from long-time friend-knowing she is okay

8.  Light that caught you, a reflection that surprised you, a shadow that fell lovely:

Light in Sensitive Son & Princess daughter's eyes when husband brings in new work/hiking boots, Long-time friend & I only spent 1 year close in proximity but for 23 years we have kept close in heart, Husband's shadow falling lovely across Sensitive son

9.  A gift in your hand, a gift you walked by, a gift you sat with:

a new red pen, brook bubbling by chicken coop, sitting with M & her parents at service

10.  A gift that's sour, a gift that's sweet, a gift that's Just. Right:

…, pineapple/nut bread from neighbor, Sensitive son bringing me coffee fixed Just. Right

11.  3 yellow things that strike you as fresh mercy:

sticky note from T.B. "I miss you Nancy, Love you, Teresa",
yellow tulips at Wal-Mart - Princess daughter finds one "that looks happy",

1. 12.  Something above you, something below you, something beside you:

porch roof going on, rubber boots in the rain, Precious husband always beside me

13.  3 sounds you hear:

kitten purring, ducks & goats greeting us for morning feeding, fire crackling in wood stove14.  3 ways you glimpsed the startling grace of God:

H's testimony of her father's salvation as a result of her mission trip to India,
Dear friend's gift of a child - they found out Christmas morning,
hugs from women in ladies Bible study after I spent Wed. in nursery

15.  One thing you wore, one thing you gave away, one thing you shared:

blue velvet vest, painting for H, lunch with M & M

16.  3 ways you witnessed happiness today:

decking & felt on porch roof, Sensitive son & Princess daughter making video of kitten, gratitude for a warm bowl of stew

17.  One gift that made you laugh, one gift that made you pray, one gift that made you quiet:

movie "Walking Across Egypt", chasing escaped horses (again),
rain on roof (before chasing horses)

18.  3 gifts from God's Word:

James 1:2-3 "Consider it pure joy", Colossians 2:6-7 "overflowing with thankfulness", Deuteronomy 16:15 "For the Lord your God will bless you...your joy will be complete…

19.  A grace in the kitchen, a grace in the weather, a grace that might never have been:

Heart shaped biscuits, rain-rain-rain, surprise children

20.  3 gifts you only saw when you got close up:

Truths from Scripture, flecks of amber in Precious husband's green eyes,

21.  One thing in the sky, from your memory, that is ugly-beautiful:

Seeing clear blue sky after tornadoes, Precious husband and children roasting marshmallows in fireplace, tornado volunteers reaching out to survivors

22.  One grace wrinkled, one smoothed, one unfolded:

paper to start a fire, towels from the dryer, Sensitive son's small group leaders encouraging note

23. 3 gifts found in Christ:

JUSTIFICATION, SANCITIFICATION, HE IS WITH ME

24.  3 things blue:

tarps covering homes - protecting contents, yarn colors, sky reflecting across lake

25.  One grace borrowed, one found, one inherited:

Library books, leaf print in dirt, legacy of faith

26.  A gift before 9 a.m., before noon, after dark:

coffee & donuts, text from A, laying in crook of husband's arm

27.  3 gifts that might never have been:

Helpful son, Princess daughter, Little A

28.  3 graces found in your friends:

Prayer Warriors, laughter, compassion

29. A song heard, a soft word, where you saw light:

Kari Jobe "Steady My Heart", lovely limerick for S from B, across the field after days of rain

30.  3 old things seen new:

music from teen years - it still lifts, trials that come - considered pure joy,
death gives more focused perspective - who is my center

31.  A gift found on paper, in a person, in a picture:

sweet note from Sensitive son, honesty of Precious husband, Gold-hearted mom & Amazing aunt

Scripture Only Sunday

Dear friends, although I was very eager to write to you about the salvation we share, I felt I had to write and urge you to contend for the faith that was once for all entrusted to the saints.
Jude 3

Safe Pasture

The wind howls outside and I sleep late enjoying the rain on the roof.  Sensitive son in the next room is awaked by the sound of horse hooves on pavement.  He looks out the window in time to see our four mischievous horses running across the road.  This is the fourth, maybe fifth time they have escaped since Christmas.

I pull of rubber farm boots and rush out the door not even considering the fact that I am still in pajamas.  I manage to get out the door in time to direct the pony back up the drive to our pasture.  The other three animals follow his lead.  Neighbor, who takes her dogs our at this time of the morning, catches me with her words, “Looks like someone has learned how to open the gate.”

Sensitive son and I run after horses pushing them up to the pasture.  I am frustrated and weary trying to keep these animals penned safely where they belong.  I double chain the gate and put a log where hopefully they cannot push the gate open.  I don’t want an accident to occur because these animals are roaming from their pasture.

With horses penned in, I hope, we feed animals and then head back to the house.  As I sit with my Bible and coffee I think about neighbor’s comment, “Looks like someone has learned how to open the gate.”  I think about temptation, how the flesh desires or the enemy seeks to open the gate and draw me away from the safety of the Father’s pasture.  The more I yield the easier it becomes to open the gate, wandering away from the safety of the Father’s field.

Father God, he patiently, lovingly, comes looking for me.  His kindness leads me to repentance as He leads me back to safe pasture.  He leads me to obey His commands in order to create a safe pasture.

Trust in the LORD and do good;
   dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the LORD
   and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:3-4

Scripture Only Sunday

“[Trials and Temptations] Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” James 1:2-3 NIV

Puzzle Pieces

I should be writing, something.  It is a school holiday so we take a break.  I read and walk the hill to watch Precious husband and boys work on putting porch roof back in place.  Rain delays have held the work up.  Precious husband says that putting the pieces back in place is like working on a giant puzzle – finding the right spot has held the work up. 

Truthfully I haven’t felt much like writing.  Since the end of the year named consumed and the beginning of the year named reflect I just feel quiet.   It seems I am waiting for pieces of my life puzzle to be put in position before I can move forward.  It seems this is an in-between time - between all the turmoil of the last six months and what comes next. 

I listen to this…

I read Ann… and continue counting…taking a daily joy dare.  Looking for the joy in the moments – whether good or ugly.  The One who created this puzzle of a life I am living – He sees the finished work.  So I rest and trust in the goodness of God and give thanks in everything. 

“give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”  1 Thessalonians 5:18

Scripture Only Sunday

You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” 
Psalm 16:11

Teaching Treasures

It is Monday morning and the school books beckon us to begin again.  Fun son caught the bus at 7:00.  I sit and plan out the lessons for the week while two youngest prepare breakfast.   After our sausage balls and scrambled eggs, spelling manuals are pulled out.  

Sensitive son just has time to finish before Precious husband arrives home from the fire station.  The two of them pull on work boots and take the truck up the hill to the house project.  Today they will work on the roof for the front porch.





While Princess daughter and I make sure decimals are lined up properly the two men make sure posts and beams line up correctly.  When all is aligned nails and spikes are driven in, securing the roof to the decking.  

Hopefully by the end of the day all the post and beams will be in place.  This evening as Princess daughter cooks chili for dinner Sensitive son will take his turn lining up decimals.  Tomorrow, if the weather allows, the roof of the porch will go back in place.   

Full of Holes

We have just hit the two year mark on this house project.  Many of the setbacks have been beyond our control, like waiting to find a house mover, waiting on house mover for over four months to get all the parts on the property.  Some of the waiting has been time to work around Precious husband’s paying work schedule.  Some of the waiting is having finances available for the next step.

A January day dawns gorgeous, a warm 60 degrees, with a open blue sky.  My eyes are full of blue things.  Precious husband and Sensitive son work on putting the decking for the front porch in place.  We all work on moving boards out of the shed, onto the trailer, making them more accessible to the house. 


I walk around inside snapping pictures.  When the project is complete I want to remember this mess.  There are half walls, holes in the ceiling where the crane separated top floor from the bottom, electrical wires hanging in random places, boards stacked everywhere, tarps hanging across doors, a hole for stairs leading to the basement, and the fireplace is covered with plywood to keep the stone from falling.

I reflect, life, it can be a mess.  My insides churn sometimes in the waiting and the brokenness.  I’m waiting for children to get their act together, waiting for me to do the same, waiting for us to be put together. We are full of holes that only Jesus can fill.  I don’t want to remember this mess – I want wholeness. 

We sit on the front porch with its temporary posts.  In front of me I see the moon rising into an ever deepening blue sky. Peering around the end of the porch I can see the sun setting giving the clouds a rose color.   I long for some rose colored glasses of my own.

But I think God wants me to remember this mess.  So that today I can have faith that the Father has a plan and is leading us in the way we should go.  So in the future I can reflect, seeing all that He has done and praise Him for the strength and ability to get where He is taking us. 

“For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land…When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you.  Be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God,…”  Deuteronomy 8: 7, 10-11a

Scripture Only Sunday

“Wash and perfume yourself, and put on your best clothes. 
Then go down to the threshing floor,…
When he lies down go and uncover his feet and lie down. 
He will tell you what to do.”  Ruth 3:3-4

Filling the Weeks

The end of 2011 and beginning of 2012 are busy days.  We fill the days with a gingerbread house tradition for Princess daughter’s birthday, a new pet, grandson’s first birthday, developing relationships at new fellowship, and practicing our painting skills. 

The air turns cold, a chilly 25 degrees.  Fun son spends his days cutting firewood for the wood burning stove.  He also spends a time at our local zoo volunteering 55 hours in four days.  This will keep his volunteer status active through the end of the school year. 

Animals become escape artists as goats free themselves from their pens and horses escape the pasture.  We spend a breathless few hours on several days rounding them up and securing enclosures.

We hang out at Gold-hearted mom’s for several days before she gets on a plane headed west for vacation with her sister and brother-in-law.

Precious husband and two boys work on our house project.  Porches and decks are moved into place, readied to go back on the house.  I climb a ladder into the house, walk up a flight of stairs into what will one day be our bedroom.  Once there I gaze out the window across the winter pasture.  The wind is a gusty 20 mph and the tarps flap against the side of the house.  I can image it finished. 

We fill the holiday weeks with activities we all enjoy and the time passes quickly.  Fun son heads back to school today and next week two youngest and I will get started with a new semester.   Darling daughter and dear son-in-love continue to build relationships with their international friends while raising Little One.  In February Challenge son will begin firefighter rookie school.  Helpful son continues working while struggling to figure out what comes next in his life.

The new year rushes at me.  I take it all in and savor the moments as they come.  I want to be wise like Mary, treasuring and pondering all these things. 

 

Scripture Only Sunday